6 Steps To Overcome Jealousy In A Relationship

Wife talking on the phone

Jealousy is an emotion that rears its ugly head in nearly everyone’s life. It is normal to feel a little jealous with the person who you love, but too much of it is like poison in the veins of a relationship. Jealousy can drive even the most suited of lovers insane, and can create a tension and boxed in feeling that ruins what should be a beautiful thing.

It can be tempting to blame your partner, as if your jealousy is their fault, but the emotion mostly arises out of your own insecurities, a lack of trust, or a fear of loss. For a harmonic and long lasting love it is necessary for every couple to battle and overcome the damaging aspect of jealousy; it must be tamed. Here are 6 steps to help you to overcome jealousy in your relationship:

  1. It Is Normal To Feel Jealous Every Now And Again
  2. First of all, you should not feel that you or your partner’s jealousy is something that no one else is experiencing. Most people feel a jealous twinge when they see their partner in conversation with someone who they perceive as a threat, or dancing sexily with an old friend. As long as you are not constantly feeling jealous, and as long as you have some understanding of where your jealousy is coming from, then you are only feeling natural human emotions. If your jealousy is tearing the relationship apart then it is time to further examine it.

  3. Don’t Take It Out On Your Partner
  4. This is the most important point for limiting the damage that jealousy can cause. Do not, under any circumstances, take your jealousy out on your partner. If they have seriously done you wrong, or they are not trustworthy, then you should get rid. If this is not the case, and the jealousy is yours to deal with, then taking it out on them will highly escalate the situation. You should never force your partner not to see their friends, or go out, or restrict them in ways that are unfair. Instead you should accept responsibility for your jealousy; it is your emotion.

  5. Recognize Where It Comes From
  6. You should examine where your own jealousy comes from. When do you feel it? What situation rouses it, or what people? Why? Do you not trust your partner? Do you genuinely think they might cheat on you, or is your own insecurity the issue? What aspect of yourself are you not happy with?

    You should think long and hard about your own feelings. Understanding where they come from will help you to resolve them, either physically through talking to the people involved, or mentally with a change of perspective.

  7. Improve Your Self Esteem
  8. Most jealousy comes from insecurity, so the easiest way to transcend your jealousy is to hold yourself in high esteem. Keep fit and healthy, and know the value that you bring to your partners life. Perhaps you don’t feel you bring enough to them? In that case you could work at giving them more. Turn your jealousy into positive growth for you and your relationship.

  9. Keep Balance In Your Relationship
  10. In order to remove jealousy and possessiveness from your relationship you should work at keeping a good balance with your partner, and also a good balance in life. You should talk to your partner about your feelings, and be open, while accepting responsibility for your jealousy. You have to believe in yourself, your partner, and your relationship. You should also accept that your partner has a life outside of you, and you should try to have a life outside of them. This helps to create balance.

  11. Love Is Vulnerability
  12. The fear of loss can be strong when you love someone, but it is often this very fear that creates problems and drives you apart. You need to accept that when you give yourself over to someone you will always be somewhat vulnerable. This is nobody’s fault, it is simply a by-product of being so emotionally involved.

You could lose them. But fearing this loss, and letting jealousy drive you apart is not the answer. You must love and trust wholeheartedly.

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